Volunteers Required For The Moonlight Knights Gala On April 9th, 2020

Today’s  “Ask The EPSMPA” question comes from the Moonlight Knights Gala Organizing Committee, who wonders, “Is there a legal, ethical, morally correct, accurate, and—most importantly—quick way to clone a few EP Scarlett Music Parents?  We have our first planning meeting for the April Gala on Tuesday, October 29th, and we are in real need of several more volunteers to help us pull off this event.”

Thanks for the question, MLKGOC!  We understand your dilemma: the Moonlight Knights Gala (which will be held on April 9th, 2020 at Scarlett) is the Music Program’s largest fundraiser of the year.  For those that are new to the program, the students provide the musical entertainment while guests enjoy a catered dinner, silent auction, raffles, 50/50 and more.  Proceeds from this event go to support activities for ALL Music Program students, and we know it takes many volunteers to make it a success.

However, we regret to inform you that our laboratory was recently decommissioned due to an unfortunate incident that is referred to in the cloning industry as ‘pulling a Dr. Frankenstein’ and, according to our lawyers, we have ‘no plausible defence and are definitely going to lose the lawsuit’.

It appears your best option is to appeal to parents directly.  Our advice is to let them know that many of the tasks related to planning this Music Program fundraiser can be done from the comfort of their homes and do not require a huge time investment.  Other tasks do not require much advance work at all; instead, volunteer time is needed only in the week or two before the Gala.  And some of the tasks are for the day or evening of the Gala only!  Lots of options which are sure to suit many different lifestyles so you should have no problem getting a few extra helpers and are unlikely to have to beg and plead, unless you feel that is your only option in which case you should go for it.

You should probably also let parents know that interested parties can e-mail info@epsmpa.com with the subject line ‘I Can Help With MLK, You Don’t Need To Tell Me I’m Amazing, I Already Know’ if they are able to lend a hand or would like more information, or simply show up at the first Organizing Committee meeting on Tuesday, October 29th at 6:30 pm in the Scarlett Staff Lounge.

As a last resort, you could employ the services of a hypnotist.

Good luck!